You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
