I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
