I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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