there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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