***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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