would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
