I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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