The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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