Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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