Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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