I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
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Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
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I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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