Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
