You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
