Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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