you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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