There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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