we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
