they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
we're so committed to being not committed
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
