shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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