I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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