last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
