Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
