wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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