ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
