Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
