i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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