hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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