but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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