Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
