How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
