Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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