i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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