Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
