Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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