she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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