I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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