I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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