This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Who died my cat blue again?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
