id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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