It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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