how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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