P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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