Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
