True but thats because hes a fetus.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I smell stomach acid.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
