He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i've created a new STD.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
