I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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