Whod you bang
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
