you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
