It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Pooping to opera.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
