ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
