I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
