im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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