i jhust puked up my retainher.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize