He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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