don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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