he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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