I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
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We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
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Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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