so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
