i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Randomize