the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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